Leaking.

Wow, SO MUCH has happened in the past month, where to even start?
We still find ourselves in the season of lent, and as I posted here, I decided to give up netflix for this time, and also to make a deliberate effort to be thankful each day. So I have succeeded in the no netflix, but definitely haven't been writing down something i'm thankful for each day. There have been days I've thought about it, but it just didn't end up how I wanted it to be. In regards to no netflix, that has been good, and I have been more productive at home, but the point is to spend more time with Jesus, which has gone in spurts. It seems hard to reform a habit when it's been absent for so long. One thing I have been thinking about a lot lately is that fact that GOD PURSUES US. I am hoping to write a post about that soon :) I'm definitely not a perfect person.
This is an excerpt from my first ever blog post... one that explains the title of my blog.

"I'm just a girl who loves the Lord, wants to be used by Him, and a girl who realizes how broken and desperate I am without Him. Just a leaking vessel, really. We all know that if a boat is leaking, it is useless. Useless, yet not without potential. Useless, unless someone fixes it and refines it. Then it sails. Sails to places no one could ever guess, on a journey no one could ever plan. So here I am, a leaking vessel, but slowly and surely, the Lord is refining me, purifying me, healing me, and taking me on the journey of a lifetime. Time to sail."

This is still true. I wrote that last August, and so much time has passed since then. Life has happened. There have been victorious along the way and there have been heartbreaks. My vessel is still leaking and broken, but it is through my weaknesses and my cracks that God shines through. I am weak so that He may be glorified through me. I couldn't even hope for such a great God to use MY LIFE, but He does. Wow. He is continuing to restore me and refine me. It's a process that isn't easy. It involves brokenness, but the end result will be so beautiful!
I know I need to be spending more time in the Word and in prayer. I am thankful that it is never too late to restart, and that God doesn't just give up on us, even when we've pretty much given up on Him. What a faithful God we serve.

So anyways... the "Lent Resolutions"...
I had some things I wanted to accomplish during Lent, and lets just say they didn't all get done. Some of them did, but not everything. However, I still have a couple weeks ;)
AND,  APRIL TO DOS. (i realize we're already a week in, but whatever! #dontjudgeme)

• make time in the Word and prayer a priority
• mail the gifts I have sitting on my shelf
• reply to emails.
• clean out bathroom drawers *shudder*
• write out my testimony
• finish the room declutter

I was very blessed to go to a ladies retreat on Saturday in Saskatoon, called Women's Journey of Faith. You can visit their website at http://www.wjof.com/. It was a great day for me to be encouraged in my walk with the Lord, and reminded of the importance of walking in obedience.
Some notes/thoughts:

• You identity should be found COMPLETELY in Christ.
• Your loss is only a loss until the right time comes for Jesus to bring a resurrection.
• You might have a healing in mind, but Jesus has a resurrection! 
• When God sends you on a journey, He will provide for you. Don't worry.

One session that I went to and really loved was called "Launching your Ministry Dream" with Jodi Kozan. I went because I don't KNOW what my ministry dream is yet, I just know that I have one. There are so many things I want to do, and so many people that I want to encourage and bless. It's hard to know where to even start. I loved this session, and here are some things I took away from it.

• If His leading seems fuzzy... pray, fast, and worship.
• Start journalling what He shows you. Write down everything, including your dreams.
• You need to be at such a place with the Lord that you KNOW who you are in Christ. (Knowing who you are in Christ seemed to be a theme that came up at every session btw.)
• Submission and obedience is important. Don't let pride control you.
• Start volunteering with people already doing things you're passionate about.
• Take care of your own heart first. If you're not right with the Lord, how can you lead others?
• DON'T BE AFRAID TO DREAM.
• Be willing to receive counsel.
• ALWAYS go back to the Father.

When we have dreams we tend to talk about them with all our friends first (at least I do). This seminar was a big reminder to me that we need to first talk to the Lord, and actually to spend the MOST time talking to Him.

I loved that Jodi said "Don't be afraid to dream." When I was probably 15 or 16, I remember my friend Lauren told me that it was 11:11 and I should make  a wish. I remember telling her that wishes never came true, so what was the point? Lauren told me that I was a princess (daughter of God), and princesses always wish and always dream. I was at a point in life where I didn't really want to get my hopes up, but she reminded me to dream big. That has stuck with me, and now I'm not afraid to dream and imagine. There are so many things I have envisioned for my future and for ministry, and I think it's important to dream about it! I am so excited for life and everything it holds! So if you're reading this, and feeling discouraged or dry, don't give up. Keep dreaming, but most importantly, spend time with Jesus. Even if it feels empty. Don't give up. He is constantly pursuing you.