See the Treasure, Buy the Field

I had the great privilege last month to attend a weekend retreat with the Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship groups from the University of Regina and the University of Saskatoon. God has used this community profoundly in my life in the past few months, and the message of the retreat is something that has significantly impacted my life and my view of community and ministry. The theme of our weekend was "See the Treasure, Buy the Field" and it comes from Matthew 13:44-46.

The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

This small portion of scripture speaks profoundly.

Our speaker challenged us a lot on the ideas presented here. "When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." "When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it." This man was willing to give up everything! What does this mean for us? What are things that God is asking us to give up? Our priorities? Our time? Our resources? Our money? Certain relationships? Your pride? Personal space? Comfort? The most important question to ask is "What do I need to give up in order that I may gain Christ?" Are there things in my life that are holding me back from experiencing the fullness of who Christ is? 

Think about this story. Why did these people sell everything they had?

It is because they knew the reward would be far greater than the cost. 

The kingdom of God is relevant. It is current. It is woven into everything.

Are we carried away with the kingdom? Are we seeking it with joy? Do we realize the worth it holds? Are we willing to give up everything that holds us back from more of Christ? 

All it costs is everything.

We sell what we have that we may buy Christ. (This doesn't necessarily mean selling all your earthly possessions, but more giving up things in the way of you and God and things in the way of you forming relationships with other people.) Yes Christ gives Himself freely to us, but the abundant life He offers comes at a cost.

The only ones who EVER regret selling are the ones who stop buying.

If you are giving up things in order to gain Christ and gain the Kingdom, you will not regret it. If you are giving up things but not pursuing Christ, you will not find the joy in it.

Some questions to think about:

What do you have?

What does God want you to sell? What holds the centre of your attention?

An amazing thing that our speaker shared was this.

There is more of the Kingdom than you have experienced. 

This is amazing. I have been blown away by God's greatness again and again lately and been so filled by kingdom living. There are times my heart is so full and satisfied that I cannot ask or imagine anything greater. And there is more. 

I hope you are encouraged by this. The reward of the kingdom is so great. Invest in it. The more you search for it and the more you pursue it, the more you will find. The reward of it is worth the cost of following. It is worth selling.

See the treasure.

Sell everything.

Buy the field.

Jesus says in Matthew 16:24-26:

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?"

Paul speaks on this same concept in Philippians 3:7-8 when he says:

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ."

Paul understood the joy of selling to buy. "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ."
God desires relationship with us and there are great and wonderful things in store for those who are willing to follow with full abandon.

See the treasure.
Sell everything.
Buy the field. 

Not done yet.

It's been a long time since I've written, but I have a full heart and lots to share!

Yesterday I sat down with a good friend of mine and God gave us a song. Hopefully sometime I can show a video of it, but for now, I leave you the lyrics:

Not Done Yet

November 22, 2014

Carina and Jessamy

Verse 1

Tears keep falling and my feet are failing fast

This journey's getting heavy and I don't think I can last

Everything around me is crumbling to the ground

And I can't help but feeling like I'm about to drown

PreChorus 1

Then I hear Your still small voice

Calling out to me

Chorus 1

You're still my daughter and I haven't loved you more

You're still my child and I'll carry you through the storms

The road may be steep and the path uncertain

but darling we're not done yet

We're not done yet

Verse 2

Life is overwhelming and I don't know where to go

My steps are shaking but I'm clinging onto hope

My trips and falls make me unworthy of Your love

All that I have is gone, but Jesus, You're enough

PreChorus 2

I can hear Your still small voice

Whisper to my soul

Chorus 1

You're still my daughter and I haven't loved you more

You're still my child and I'll carry you through the storms

The road may be steep and the path uncertain

but darling we're not done yet

We're not done yet

Chorus 2

We're not done yet

We're not done yet

I'm not finished with your heart

Let me guide you 

I will show you

My grace fixes broken hearts

We're not done yet

We're not done yet

I'm not finished with your heart

When your world is falling down

I'll hold you up

I'll hold you up

Bridge

When I said "It's finished"

I meant between you and sin

And when I gave my last breath,

I knew that I'd still win

(x2)

Chorus 2

We're not done yet

We're not done yet

I'm not finished with your heart

Let me guide you 

I will show you

My grace fixes broken hearts

We're not done yet

We're not done yet

I'm not finished with your heart

When your world is falling down

I'll hold you up

I'll hold you up

Chorus 1

You're still my daughter and I haven't loved you more

You're still my child and I'll carry you through the storms

The road may be steep and the path uncertain

but darling we're not done yet

We're not done yet

Ending

We're not done yet (x3)

Come to Me

Come to Me

Enjoy my presence

It's where you're free

(x4+)

The road may be steep and the path uncertain

but darling we're not done yet

We're not done yet...

The Refining of a Heart

The craftsman leans over, studying this precious metal.

Each time He puts it through fire, and each time, more dross comes to the top, to be skimmed off. Removed.

Again, the metal is put through the fire, to be refined. To made pure.

Sometimes the dross cannot be skimmed off,

sometimes it must be hammered and rolled. A painful and long process.

But it all serves a purpose, to refine the metal, and make it pure.

"Take away the dross from the silver, and there shall come forth a vessel for the finer." Proverbs 25:4

The process of refining a metal has a wonderful parallel to the Christian life.

We come before the Lord with hearts of stone. Hearts that are filthy and in dire need of cleansing.

As it says in Jeremiah 17:9, "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure, Who can understand it?".

That verse in Proverbs 25 is so wonderful... take away the dross... and there shall come forth a vessel!

I love to compare myself as a vessel. Yes, I'm a leaking, and broken vessel, nothing special. But I have the most skilled craftsman, and in my weakness, He is glorified! 

I have been recently reading through the book of Jeremiah, and in chapter 6 I read a verse that really hit me.

"They are all hardened rebels, going about to slander. They are bronze and iron; they all act corruptly. The bellows blow fiercely to burn away the lead with fire, but the refining goes on in vain..." Jeremiah 6:28-29

The Lord refines our hearts because He loves us. We are commanded to be holy (1 Peter 1:16), which is something impossible for us to attain on our own. How could such a broken and foolish person as myself be holy? It's certainly something I could never accomplish on my own. Only Christ can do that, and His life through me.

"but the refining goes on in vain.."

My heart's cry to the Lord the past few days has been just that.. that the refining of my heart would not be in vain, but would fulfill the Lord's purpose! That when the dross is removed from my heart, no matter how painful it is, that I shall come out of it as an even more refined vessel, that the Lord can use for His purpose. And that I will continue to allow Him to refine and build this vessel. A vessel for His service. How do we make this refining worth it? Allow Him to change you! Be willing to obey! Has He asked you to do something that you're refusing? As He revealed to you things you are unwilling to change? He wants to change you, so let Him do it! Don't fight it.

Today, right now,  consider YOUR heart. Where is your heart before the Lord? How is your heart? Be willing to check it honestly before Him. I desperately want this refining to be of value, and not something that the Lord looks at as worthless. So as I check my heart, I still see a lot of garbage, and a lot of pride, and a lot of hurt and a  lot of stubbornness. God is continuing to scrape and break my heart, each and everyday. It is painful, and I wish I didn't have to go through this process, but it only serves to make me more and more like Christ, the one I love and follow.

"Create in me a pure heart, O God." Psalms 51:10

the greatest reminder.

Undistacted Devotion

As I have been asking God for a lot of input and wisdom lately (I should be doing this all the time, but lately it has been happening more often), I have come to a realization.

I ask God a lot of questions, and then I tune out His answers.


Oh of course not purposely.
I just came to a realization though..
I ask God a question, and then instead of listening for His reply, I go and turn my music on, check my facebook, watch my tv show, text all my friends...



No wonder I can't hear Him.


Even as I write this, I am fighting a strong urge to check my facebook, look at things on pinterest, listen to music. It's become such an impulse that it's hard to just lay it aside. The Lord has been speaking to me that it's time to take a technology fast. I'm still praying about exactly how it will look. I have already begun to cut out apps on my phone. One thing I have realized is that I need to spend more time in silence/prayer. How can I hear God if all I hear is noise? I have a 40 minute drive to work everyday, which means my total vehicle time is about 1.5 hours. It's easy to just turn on the tunes and not think about anything else, and especially avoid prayer time. However, how can I expect to hear Him when He speaks, if I'm not willing to listen? God is ALWAYS speaking to us, we just aren't listening. I am excited to cut all of this technology out, although I know it will be a challenge, because I know that the Lord will use this time to really speak to my heart. I read an article the other day by Phil Wickham, and one thing that he said really stuck out to me. For those of you who don't know, Phil Wickham is a worship singer and has recorded several albums. In the middle of his last tour, they found an irregularity on his vocal chords, and the only way to heal it is absolute silence.
This is what Phil says, "So I've been quiet now since Saturday, and you can imagine how the last 5 days have pretty much been just a wild series of nods, shakes, and gestures...It's also been a lot of listening. I'm starting to feel like I haven't been listening enough because I feel like I'm hearing a lot more lately. The Lord has been speaking to me profoundly. I feel so at peace. So loved. Moments of fear are quenched with a thought of the cross. Moments of anxiety vanish in the whispers of His grace. And I am thankful for it."

It is beyond me how God manages to speak to me when I indulge in so many distractions. About a month ago, I made a list of all the things distracting me from my relationship with God, and He is slowly cutting those things out. I didn't ask Him to do this. I didn't want Him to do this. I just wanted it to be "good" without giving anything up. It is PAINFUL, but the end result will be so great. I'm thankful that God doesn't allow me to stay the same, but continues to refine and renew my heart. Dear friends, I challenge you to consider your own heart today. Are there things in the way of your relationship with God? Things that are causing you to be distracted and that take away your time with Him? Write them down, I encourage you. Be brave. And then ask the Lord to show you how these things can become less and how He can become greater. Sacrifice is always hard, but to sacrifice for Him is worth it. Good Friday is one week from today, and what is our sacrifice compared to all that He has given us? In John 15:12 - 14, Jesus gives us these words: "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I command you."
He gave His life for you. He gave His life so that you could KNOW GOD and so that you could be free from the power that sin once held over you. Do not let yourself be held captive to that which distracts you, but as a free child of God pursue Christ. "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross." Hebrews 12:1-2a


"This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord." 1 Corinthians 7:35

Pursued.

As far as I know, it's every girl's dream. Literally, even before we can tie our shoes and count to 10, it is somehow communicated to us what the point of life is (or what it seems to be, anyways) - eventually finding that prince, the perfect one, the one who will do anything for you, fighting dragons and going through dangerous, scary forests, just for his princess. And obviously, you need to find him sooner rather than later. Of course, in our culture you wait at LEAST until elementary school to start on this journey. Yeah, does anyone else have memories of everyone dating having a special friend that they could always talk to in class and maybe hold hands with at a hockey game in Grade 6? HA. It is crazy if you think about it. Everywhere you look the message is being spewed at you like a fire hydrant. "YOU NEED SOMEONE". Okay, since when was this a need? Why does a girl in grade 6 need a boyfriend? Oh wait, she doesn't. So okay, jump forward a few years.. Grade 10, 11, 12... If you're in a relationship you're automatically cooler or something. Everyone knows you only find that special someone if you're good looking and not awkward. So basically, if you're not popular and you suck at sports (hello, Jessamy), then you don't have a boyfriend at high school. Okay, whatever. Even though the subject of boys is basically all girls study in high school, it's okay if you don't have one yet. Especially if you go to a small school. Cue the classic excuse: "I live in a small town. There are no good guys here." Which could be true (sorry boys who I went to high school with), and also since you live in a small town, you know everyone's life secrets and every embarrassing thing they've ever done, and every other girl they've dated is probably in your graduating class, and you also remember them in kindergarten when they were awkward and probably peed their pants in class. Not exactly a big catch haha. Also, this means they remember when you were embarrassing and awkward (oh wait, I still am) and that one time in Grade 3 when you threw up on the school bus. WHY AM I SO CUTE. Sorry to everyone who had to be there for that.
OKAY anyways, I'm getting off topic, but this is just how my mind is working right now. Gotta let it all flowwwww. (Just a fun fact, I actually did date a guy in high school, and it was great. However, thankfully God knows what is best for us and that relationship ended, and I am quite happy without it. Also, the guy wasn't from my town.)
Okay, so anyways, by the time the end of high school rolls around, everyone still "wants someone", but there is a good chance it's a little less romantic than it was when you were 6. Now you just want someone who you can call and text and hold hands with and kiss and..
right?
So by this point, you've lost the dream. In the fairytales, the girls were pursued. Those guys did anything they could to get their princess. I don't even think our culture understands the meaning of that word when it comes to relationships. What used to be a dream of a man who would chase after you and be willing to sacrifice for you is now thrown away, because it is seemingly impossible to find.
**Disclaimer** I am aware that some people have great relationships, where this isn't an issue, but I'm just kind of getting myself to my main point, and I know I'm making a lot of generalizations, so please don't be all defensive.
Okay, I'm trying to get back on topic.
As a girl, I want to be pursued. I think deep down everyone wants that actually. We all want someone to love us and fight for us, and to make us feel needed and desired. But sometimes we give up that dream. Since we have this deep desire to be loved, we begin looking for it in the wrong places and the wrong ways. Before we know it, our hearts feel empty and unsatisfied. Instead of waiting to be pursued, we ourselves begin a pursuit.
Being out of high school for 3 years has made me realize the truth of this even more. Everyone I talk to "Soooooooooooooooooooooooo, (and girls definitely drag out the word that long) do you have a boyfriend yet?" "Sooooooo when are you getting married?" IT'S AN EXPECTATION. Our world is obsessed with relationships, and it's dumb. Yes, relationships can be fantastic, but all too often they are just a way for people to "feel something" and to try and fill the love void. Not gonna lie, there have been times in my life where I've gone after relationships for the complete wrong reasons, simply because I wanted someone to be with and someone to love me. It's sad now that I think of it, and it wrecked some good friendships too. IT IS OKAY TO BE SINGLE AND IT IS OKAY TO NOT WANT A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW AND IT IS OKAY TO BE CONTENT AND HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE WITHOUT LOOKING FOR MORE THAN YOU ALREADY HAVE. Sorry for the caps, just some thoughts.
Back to my point.
We are always pursuing things. Always looking, always chasing, never content.

Let me tell you a secret.


Are you listening?


Someone is already pursuing you.


Wait what?

Yes. Have you forgotten your creator, your first love?
I know I'm sometimes guilty of forgetting.
For the past couple months I have been thinking about this wonderful fact that God pursues us. No boyfriend/husband will ever be perfect, but we serve this God who loves us and wants us and will do whatever it takes to get our attention. Sometimes it's a painful process to realize this, but everything He allows is in our best interest, even when we don't understand it. This God that we serve is waiting for us and constantly talking to us. He loves me and understand me better than any man ever could. Next time you feel lonely or unimportant, be comforted and encouraged in the fact that God wants you and He will do whatever it takes to capture your heart. You are beautiful and special and precious to Him. He is pursuing you.. will you let Him in?



Jessamy

"She went after her lovers, but me she forgot. Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:13b-14

get out of the way.

Well it seems spring has finally arrived in Saskatchewan.. or getting here. The snow in our yard is slowly melting, and it's pretty exciting to look outside and see that patch of grass getting bigger and bigger. Wohooo. I love winter, but it is always so wonderful when spring comes, because we all know that after spring comes SUMMER. Anyways, for the past 3 years, and this year being no exception, along with spring comes the big question... "what's next?". And every year at this point, it still seems I am completely clueless. It seems the pressure is just put on full force, ESPECIALLY from my parents. They know what they want for me, and I know have a lot of ideas of what I want for me, and of course they don't seem to line up. And then God.. what does He want for me? Ultimately, it doesn't matter what I want, it doesn't matter what my parents want, it matters what HE wants. Am I willing to go where He leads? Am I willing to follow His leading? Even if it's not my first choice? Even if it's not a choice I would ever consider? Am I willing to surrender my heart and my desires and be filled with His desires and plans for me? I have had to give up some things in the past month that were so important to me, and as I realized what God was asking of me, my prideful heart found itself saying, "Okay, I've given that up, so now there isn't anything left in the way. God, I'm willing to do whatever you want, because suddenly every plan and dream I had is completely shattered." I was ready to go. Ready to follow God all the way. Now today I'm hit with the realization of how stupid that was of me to think that "nothing else was in the way". Me. I'm in the way. As I dream of next year and of the future, I of course want to make wise choices, but I also want to go somewhere where I'll be happy and do something that I WANT and not just do what other people tell me. So I realize, I'm in the way. God takes my dreams and breaks them.. gently and lovingly of course. But they're still broken. So what do I do? I create NEW dreams. And now my desires are completely different from what they were even 2 weeks ago. Now I'm so caught up in what I want. I want to do what HE wants, but I don't know what that is. What happened to the girl who said, "I'll go wherever you lead?" Am I willing to answer that call? As I wonder and stress think about this all day long, I am no where closer to having an answer right now than I was when I woke up this morning.
However, as I was writing to a friend today and sharing with her this struggle I am facing, it hit me.

"You don't need to know right now."

Wow. What freedom I found in hearing those words. There are still 4 months till school starts. Why do I need to have all the answers today? I don't. If I had all the answers, I wouldn't need to rely on God to show me. I have applied for some schools, so why freak out? It will all work out, and if I don't know the answer till the end of August, then I don't know till the end of August. Meanwhile I will be going crazy and probably being a little stressed about such a big unknown looming ahead of me, but GOD KNOWS, and I know He is trying to remind me to just trust in Him. I need to listen and just get out of the way for now. My Father will show me when it's time.

Are you getting in the way of God's leading in your life?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways." James 1:5-8